got to love margareta's

so as you all no i was a little bummed out the other night about my birthday that is coming up and last night i was as Annice as an ant. SO i Thoth of the one grate person in my life that can all was make me laugh no mater ware,wean or haw she just douse. its my cuss Ginny the one person how i no will be there wean I'm in the shittier and cant Lev me if she want to Lev me in the shittier because we are related blood and shes stuck with my dumb ass till the end. (EVIL LAUGH) HA! HA!  HA! HA! YOU ARE CUSSEN STUCK! so Any way we meat up last night and went to Margareta's for dinner and drank lovely Margareta's to go with it all and i had a rely fun time + wen your with Ginny it Duse not take much to have fun with her its just how she is :). i had these rely good soft pork tacos yummy and Ginny had her normall Minny chimes and we just talked about life past life and present and all in the between. i  rely needed a night like that and was happy it was with her and that i share the pitcher i took of her last night will enjoying a song in Margareta's. 

                                                       you got to love it i do :)

food god and hwo nose???

dear bloggers,
ware to being on the last two months? i feel i should apologies for not writing or even apologize to no one even reading this blog.but it is hard for me to be my self i guess around these two months i get weird. my birthday is coming up and i am going to be terming 24 EK! i no the BIG 24 well around my birthday i feel iv got to be one of those extreme all metal body solggers getting reedy for this crazy as bade of war and for two months iv Ben waiting for it and waiting,and waiting, and BAM just got a little hit byyyy the lovely weird think i have with THE FATHER MAN! iv never Ben close with my dad at all beater yet probably the classed thing iv ever gotten from him was a hug.  now he's trying to be in my life with weird little visits and things and is trying to come down for my birthday this i see as a trap a sabotage and I'm not rely shore haw much armor i should ware or take off? so it has thrown me off completely and fell i cant site stile or even rite a blog so iv Ben working more getting out of my house more SHIT you say your going some ware i try and joy or i tried to go to work with my BF the utter day. waiting for the call or random show up at my pals + bringing the step lady of girlfriend / wife and i no what your saying well you should be happy for  just a dad a dad whose in this world. WELL NO I'M NOT GRATEFUL !  and i would give you the hole annoying resin Way but its like 1000,0000.00 weird and unpleasant stores that I'm not going to pot on this  SO THERE! and that's Way iv not written in 2 months. because i don't no what to do with my own  tauts. also all most every one in my life has NO idea about my birthday wen it is or haw old i will be. iv achely found my self almost begging a person i no to come out with me haw said is that? i mean come on rite? don't you think the 2 people that pot you in this world should no wean you wear born or haw old you will be? well no because one had no Fing clue haw old i was and the other one had no idea wen i was born I'm feeling sssoo thrilled about this day that is coming up that i just want to hide under the cavers and hide like its just a day off and I'm sick or something. maybe I'm taking it to seriously? but i love celebrating my birthday its my own Fing holiday for fuck sake Way would i not want to celebrate that and all i ask is for family and friends to want to joy in. i mean there with be food and alcohol and all sorts of people. i guess I'm just the dumb ass how thot that = a good time? guess not so i have decided that if no one shows up i will do the fallowing.
1.get dressed up in everything and anything glitter.
2.will by a lot of alcohol for after every thing.
3. will only have shots of whatever the bartender wants to make me.
4. WILL hit up every bar in Waltham twice.
5.will then dance to music in my head.
6.will make new friends that will prabely be the bums on the street and bribe them with licer.
7.will go back home with out heals on sing happy birthday to self.
8.eat all the cake.
9.will throw up the cake.
10. drink more with new bum friends

so please food god if you love me eating food please don't let me make bum friends and make a ass in front of people i don't no. i only ask for one good day night and that is my birthday.PLEASEEEEE. else i shall cut off all the yummy foods in my life and will only eat lettuce and nothing more not even soda (yes food god this is a threat ) (not shore if it will work?) so make your move food god ill be waiting.
well in till next time.have a grate night big web world

soulfly

so I'm a fan of rock&roll  yes i like other music as well but i lllooovvvee rock music i was razed on it. its in my blood  and I'm a fan of the band soulfully witch was a nether band at first sepulture . so enemy  i went to see them the utter  night at the showcase live next to the pats stadium witch was cool. meat up with 2 of my friends Alan and Emily who kick ass . so Sean's this band is kind of a under ground rock band stile the place had just enough people there ware we got to stand rite up front and rock out. they ware assume they played there old stuff with just enough new music and did a little Nevada tribute a well. so long story short i ended up sleeping on my couch and have not left it all day with a rely sore neck lower back,ass and thighs I am a happy human + happy about haw high i was jumping up and down very proud that i can stile move a lil like a  12 year old. the people there ware not ass hole witch was another + and wear actually rocking out and singing with me witch was rely cool and will always remember it.

thanks giving

thanksgiving. what to say about a holiday ware you eat so much you (A.fell like your about to give berth .) or (B.go to the hospital cuss you think you about to have a hart attack.)   my thanksgiving was feeling off i have working thanks giving for 5 years and this year they called me and told me i could stay home witch was awesome  one because i had a little hang over from the night before and two…..well there was no two i was just having a big head ace and hat waking up at 5 am.i sate up on my couch after they called me and did not no what to do with my self .my plan was supposed to be go to work ,eat works thanksgiving meal for free (witch i love),get driest at work and bolt up to my mothers / bobs house ware there was supposed to be two families i don't no and was supposed to help entrain witch i was not looking forward to dinging, i mean who wants to entrain wean all day you shoving food in you mouth and look like a fat caw that is going to give birth or have a heart attack?i will never no?so wish i could have just worn sweats and blankly stared at football will shoving food in my mouth but ow weal.  so the one family was very nice and the other person did not show up witch was sweet. hope that is not mean of me but ones again i did not want any one seeing my food baby and my have never eaten before in my life food habits.witch is just unhitching my jaw will throwing my head back and poring it in HA! I wish. the family was from Australia and the wife was telling my that it gets so hot out there they eat sea food not turkey witch seemed cool mix it up i guess rite? I found out my mothers husband bob makes some kick ass stuffing witch was cool but sense i did not work i went to moms early and my grams came up witch was nice to see her but pot mom,me & grams in one kitchen and try to cook thinks give LET ME TELL YOU IT DUSE NOT WORK! so it was a little crazy but that's haw it was nice as it was going to get.i love my family and all the weird bump and quirks cuss you got to be grateful for every time you got life fly's so fast shit I'm going to be 24 this year and stile feel 14 in so meant ways as point.so happy verry late thanks giving and apresheat what you got in life you big web world.

random tv watching

watching NCIS and is addicting to watch lol. I'm so brain dead with all this Holiday shit and sens i have no writing in a will i that i try and rite about siting and waiting to go out to night with my BF family.WOW! the car in the TV show on NCIS POPPED in to life and all mossed killed the chick with the black hair .there this creepy dude that's an ass hole and i think hes a bad guy in the TV show but how nose?hes got this reel bad ascent to witch is a lol annoying.and now to Marshal...............and we are back.the hum-v is loose in the city.love her big spiky nickles by the way.i wish i could tip that fast.every one has tattoos on hear i need a nether one STAT.this hum-v stooped in the woods that be crazy if the hum-v killed every one some how?ooww dude just punched annoying dude in the face the one with the bad accent HA.Way do White cotes make people look smart ? ooww hard weirds "smug" was used. every one in the office looks so calm and cosy hhhuumm. ooww some sex's is going on and the guy is warring a crazy person wrist band lol so cut cuss the chick shes banging pot it there cuss she like him ooww so sweet. and now a nether episode ? do i want to watch a nether on ? no i don't think so.lets see what alas is on shall we. oooooww ghost hunters in what it looks like a all rock casual. looks like theres Ben murder and swashed,glowing lites and some one yelling and chasing them out  spooky spooky. lites out!!! lets watch........OK there is suction in the house that makes the doors open and close.  ooww he hears singing and a chick heard a girl singing.wow some cool sy-fi stuff going on walling foot steps and singing .ok so i got to go now lol hope you injoyed my randum tv watching.

# of things and how nose

So things that are bothering me #1  you no In one of my blogs I talked about 
haw I loused my papers to getting my car painted. Well I found them and just 
as 
it doing there !!! Rely Alexis ! I found it will cleaning the APT. And went 
guess ware they ware? Just guess? In my Curtain!!! What the monkey Munchers 
wto 
move the curtain and "PoP" if falls out and not the lower part of the curtain ow 
took the stop&shop gift car and told them 
it was hers wen she just took it off the shelf AND they believed her and got 
moused of her Fing groceries for free. WTF why did I not thing of this? But yet 
a old lady beat me to it first!?!? Not saying I would do this but  really? GOSH
no it was hi up there. "P.s. Sarina says hi blog!"#2 this is random but wean guys dont cut there nails short. just had a guy help me look at camra and his nails wear so long bla!  but back to this wy must stuff jump I'n curtains?? Wy?# 3 just wait I'n line to pay for food I'n the 
crossers store and this women with her kentucky derby hat on makes this day the 
best time at the grocery store + she
DARN IT!! To day was a chill weird day one of my cats mayhem loves to jump up on 
the bars around the stars and she slipped on the towel I had draped over the bar 
t of her. This is the second time this has happened she's suck a silly cat i 
w
and she feel all the way down on my DVD case. She's ok justgot the shit scares 
o
uonder haw I could stop her from doing this ? Ok then this is my random as blog 

going. Ok so have a grate big web night ppl? 
 
at the grocery store as i wait for Kentucky derby hat women to finish up and get
P.S.computer is doing weird thing so dont mind the spasing.
 

REMEMBERING

my fingers hover over my computer key bored as i try to find the words. The words of haw to explain about a man i barley new. A man i cant rely talk about because of the laws at my work. But i feel i need to. I feel i need to talk about him and the experience i have had.The pain In my heart we all had that day as we ether sat there helplessly or wear siting over him doing compressions yelling his name asking if he wanted aware help or just to try to save him or not. The way this day happened i feel was a natural disaster as it went from hectic to progressively wears. As the blaring lowed Noyes signified that something was terribly rang.Every foot step running and aware hearts jumping just as fast to come upon what no person should have to see. As the people i work with started poshing there natural thoughts out of there heads and began doing what they wear trained to do.They worked trying everything they could the tension went on. Yelling out orders trying to find whatever these people needed as fast as we could run or think. Will i stand there hopelessly watching my help is needed to a norther person. For a moment i did not even now i was walking.for a moment every thing was normal,i was calm.As I'm speaking to the person i forget what is going on out side i posh all of it out and i site there smiling telling her everything is ok.Wen i get back they are trying something new as it gets quieter the tension drops slowly from the room as we all relies haw long its Ben.I look in the room at the peoples faces .It was something no one had to say. they had tyred everything they could and no response,but stile we hoped.In till i heard the words "we have to call it". Then silents as one voice was herd and nothing no talking no laughing just calm.the time of passing was sad. What do you do with all that Adrenalin now? All that hope? Ware are your feelings supposed to land after such a dramatic shock? no ware....you are numb for the first few moments i am told by some. God even nose if the people that do this stuff every day even have Any Emerson left?As the last women steps out it kills me as every emotion rips across her face.So badly i wanted to walk up and hug her and tel her you did everything you could its not your fault. But steeped back as i new she needed her space as every one dues after these things.I watched her holed in the tears and walk off the floor.ask i stood there it hit me this man was Gan i was never going to hear his voice again and hear him ask for my help or anyone Else's.i did not no what to do but do what i do wen i get upset was clean.So i took in a breath steeped in the room and looked at the floor of what looked like a tornado riped threw it like a bat out of hell.And started cleaning.As i was some one said my name near the corps and i snapped my head up as my eyes landed rite on him and all i could do was stare and walk forward. There was no crying,no freaking out and running out of the room.I wandered Wy?And it hit me haw Meany deceased people i have seen and felt weirdly calm.as i walked over and looked at what he looked like now. I could not believe all the different colors in his skin and took in the remands of what had happened and what had gan on.After the floor calmed dawn i had asked what had happened? What cased this pore man to passe in such a harebell way? The response i got was "something in side him exploded he had bleed to death".This was a shock cuss that was something you read about in medical book or hear about it in movies but no one gets to see it or experience this in real life and its a way no person should ever have to go.Every time something like this happens it is stored in my mind to remember the person the way they wear,the way they have touched me with such a blessing of knowing them and being in there lives for just a little will i feel honored.so i rite this in the memories or him and all of them i will come across in my life.
this was a memorise speech i guess you can call it.R.I.P ALWAYS ME